The Power of Positivity and Persistence in Child Custody Disputes

By Santo Artusa on March 17, 2020

As a man who once fought in family court for myself and then became a family law and divorce attorney in Jersey City, New Jersey, I can tell you this; If you are not not persistent in family court and after the court issues an order, you will never have custody or the rights you should have, ever. You have to be persistent and you must remain positive even in the darkest days and nights you will face. There will be times that you feel family court is not for me, not for men, not for the non-custodial parent, that is partially right if you give up. When you are in a custody and parenting time dispute, there will be times that will try your patience, your faith, you strength more than any other period of your life. As a family court attorney, I know that you have to fight for the most detailed court order or agreement so that there is little to nothing left for interpretation. Your ex, the mother or father of your child will try to exploit any aspect of the court order that is not spelled out for his or her advantage. Avoid this. While you can nickel and dime your whole life away, do not do so with a family lawyer or divorce lawyer. The mistakes made in divorce or family court will last decades if not done right when the agreement is made. Be careful.

A simple example that many litigants and inexperienced lawyers write is: dad shall have parenting time every other Friday until Sunday. Ok, from what time to what time, where will the pick up be, the drop off. Who will do the driving? Both parties? Of what if there is a time, say 9am and the other parent does not show until 9:33, what then? How do you prevent this from becoming a bad habit? Your time and your child's time is precious, is valuable. Demand Respect, demand boundaries.

What about open and liberal parenting time? Another big mistake. The reality is that many times you will be dissapointed in the court, in the mother/father and you will feel hopeless, but you have to keep on, you have to keep fighting, you have to be persistent. The more you document what the other side is doing and is not doing, the stronger your case for more parenting time or custody will be. I have won many custody cases based on the fact one party continued to disobey a court order, the law. While it is not easy to do so, with persistence we kept fighting and fighting, documenting, filing motions and applications until we finally were given the chance to have a full plenary hearing over the course of three days. At the end of the trial, we won custody for the dad. We have also won custody for mom that went through this as well to the point she won sole legal custody which is something difficult to obtain in the New Jersey Family Courts.

While we do not accept every mom or dad that come in to the office to modify custody or parenting time, when we do, we begin to work on a strategy to win the case or obtain better results than they had before going to court. Family court and obtaining the best results require persistence and more persistence. A Judge may not agree with what you say or believe what you say but again, you have to keep fighting and to me, there is nothing more important to fight for than your child.

If you have a child custody case in Hudson County, Jersey City or beyond, contact our team today on 973-337-9643 or 2021-706-3788.

 

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