Divorce Does Not Have To Be So Negative-It's A New Positive Start

By Santo Artusa on March 24, 2020

Divorce is not something you always hoped for in your life. You never woke up as a young kid or young adult and said, "I want to get married, have kids and get divorced." Never heard anyone tell me that in the ten years as a divorce attorney in New Jersey and in my 42 years on Earth. If you did, I probably wouldn't want to represent you as I am a positive thinker and a romantic.

While I know people do not think this way (wanting to grow up to get a divorce), it happens to all of us at times.

  • Should I get a divorce?
  • My husband/wife wants a divorce but I do not, what can I do?
  • I want a divorce but my husband or wife does not, what can I do?
  • My spouse abuses me, I need a divorce, what should I do? 
  • My spouse cheats on me, what should I do? Should I stay?
  • I do not want to pay alimony so I am going to stay in my marriage, should I? 
  • I cannot live without my spouse's income, what can I do?

The above are just some questions that people go through when pondering if they should divorce, try to stop a divorce, etc. Nobody can tell you what is right or what to do except yourself. I cannot tell you if your wife cheated on you that you need to leave. I can give you my opinion but I cannot force you to do anything and in most cases, I will never know all the facts of the situation. If your spouse abuses you, I can't tell you to leave but I will advise you to leave if there is abuse and if the kids witnessed it. 

I am writing this blog because a divorce does not have to be viewed as a negative. Divorce can be viewed as a new beginning for you, for your kids, for your extended family. When I take on a case, I do try to stop the bleeding and try to focus on my client's long term goals and finding solutions for my clients. Realistic solutions that my clients can understand and solutions that they can strive to achieve for their future. While we may have to go through a time that is very difficult, we will get through it and you will be better off after the divorce than you were before it. How? The first thing I tell clients who are being mentally abused is to either leave or obtain a restraining order immediately. Right there, your spouse being forced to leave is already a major positive event for you and your children. On the other side, if a client is accused of abuse but has not done it, we will fight to get you back into the house or make a plan for your voluntary exit which can prevent further false claims. 

What A Divorce Can Offer?

  1. A Sense of Freedom
  2. Boundaries
  3. Specific Orders (If you have kids) that can prevent Problems
  4. A Fresh Start
  5. The End of The Day to Day Issues with Your Spouse (If Done Correctly)

Divorce is not what it was 50 years ago. Divorce is not something to be embarrassed about or to be ashamed about. I've seen the guilt and shame first hand in my own family and my sibling still had the guts to go through with it. My office is a judgment-free zone in all ways. If you feel you need to file for divorce and seek a no-pressure consultation, call me on 973-337-9643 to schedule a time. 15 minute consults are free, 30 minutes or more are paid consultations. 

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